November 6, 2014
I haven’t had good days recently, that’s why I suddenly disappear from the blog. I crashed my car against a wall, nothing major but it got me paralysed for a few days. Fear run all over me and I couldn’t do much.
It’s funny how hopeless we can become when fear takes control of the situation. I felt myself completely useless and worthless for some days. I lost hope in all by abilities, just because of the car crash. I didn’t want to get out of the house nor do anything, I felt completely lost. My anxiety was creeping out and my depression was coming back.
Suddenly, I allowed myself a window of hope. I had to let go of my mourning process. I’ve been mourning, as a new parent, about all the things that I lost when my child was born: my independence, my freedom, my old self.
I’ve been trying to stick to the past, to an old self that doesn’t exist any more and all I needed to do it’s let go. Welcome the new me. Embrace this new person and love her.
The rain brought back the new me, and there was a rainbow. There was this light at the end of the tunnel. I could drive again, and be free. Hope always comes back, as the rain does. Let’s embrace our new selves. Don’t get trapped in the misery of fear. Together, we are stronger than fear and we can face our new life with a smile. Let’s get ready for the challenge. Today is just the beginning.